Sunday, 8 February 2009

Postcard from Earth (7: chilling with my mates)

Dear Pater,

I think I've explained I've done with the carpentry thing and what next etc. Anyway I've decided to be a holy man. Given that I'm stuck with the celibacy I thought it might be a sensible thing to leverage.

Off to a somewhat slow start, but I've met up with a few lovely local lads and we hang out together. There's not much to do, but we do a lot of it quand même. You'd think they would need to attend to their trades, fishing and stuff, but apparently life is quite easy if you chill.

For example, improbable I know, but turns out that locusts are not unpleasant to eat when dipped in honey. Both are in plentiful supply, luckily, though the latter a tad difficult to collect, what with bees being the possessive little blighters that they are. It seems I need more experience than the others, so they are generous in stepping aside and letting me do much of the collecting.

Then for quality relaxation the lads smoke these leaves; they call them Jerusalem Gold (or Black?) Something like that. Talk about mellow. Comes highly recommended.

I've floated the idea that they might "follow me". Somewhat flaccid reaction at first, generally along the lines of "Where?" and "Why?"

So I did the "Well I am the Son of God you know" speach and they were dead impressed. "Cool", "Works for me chief" and that sort of thing. We were all a bit Jerusalemmed at the time, but that seemed to enhance the cosmic significance of the moment rather than detract from it.

Anyway, as I hinted earlier, it leaves me with a bit of a "What next?" situation. I could do with one of those mission / vision things that you are so good at but which I fear I failed to get my teeth into at the time.

Ah well. Tomorrow.

That's all for now,
Love to Mama.

PS - the Ghost is a bit sniffy about Gold (lots of very dull talk about synaptic degradation and stuff). I'd be grateful if you could just steer him away from Mama for the moment. Biochemistry's never been her thing anyway. Ta.


Clare W said...

Keep it coming - we've missed you whilst you've been so quiet!

Ernest de Cugnac said...

Wow!! That was commented almost sooner than it was published. And thanks!

Janelle said...

raucously, shiningly brilliant. has always been my take on the matter. more more more! what next, she thinks to herself. xxx j

Ernest de Cugnac said...

janelle - v kind as always. What next? I often ask myself just that.

Weeping Sore said...

I like the "follow me" idea. Suggest you try, on the fishermen, the line about leaving off fishing and becoming "fishers of men" or something like that.
Also, in lieu of multiplying loaves, or fishes, or whatnot, how about spreading around some of that Jerusalem gold? Mellow is good.

Pauline said...

"Anyway, I've decided to be a holy man."

Sounds like an identity crisis talking. Where were you when the gospels were being written? I might have believed in it all if I'd read this first.

Ernest de Cugnac said...

weeping - enough gold for 5,000? I think they need to pay, don't you? (Any of that in *your* garden?)

pauline - when the gospels were being written ... and by whom? And what about all the text that was written, apparently, that never ended up in the standard bible?

Pauline said...

Wasn't around then so I can't vouch for by whom. I've heard rumors though that they weren't penned verbatim (as years had passed between said and set down). As for the lost books... I'm hoping your boy can shed some light.

Helen Suzanne said...

loving it Ernest!

I do have to wonder what Mrs G's take on Gold would have been. It's surprising how little boys know about their parents, ahem, and there is always the question of who thought of subduing unruly yoofs with plant matter in the first place.

Ernest de Cugnac said...

pauline - the boy sheds some light? ... hmm, don['t hold your breath.

Helen Suzanne - thank you. Hints of a misspent youth, what?

Absolute Vanilla (and Atyllah) said...

I'm wondering if Jerusalem Gold smokes the same way as Durban Poison or Transkei Gold. When I wonder though is the lad going to venture away from such mild pursuits and engage in truly psychedelic experiences. Some of those of my distance acquaintance always assured me that that's when they truly got down and talked to the lad.

Ernest de Cugnac said...

av - ha ha, can't argue with that!

Sylvia said...

I wasn't going to comment, on account of everyone else seems to have covered all the bases, but with a Word Verification of 'shagate', I can't not, really.

D'ye know, I've read a fair few God books in my time, and not ONE of them mentioned the possibility that one of The Lad's favoured female disciples might have been called Mary Jane!

Now I gotta go type 'shagate' with a straight face.

Eva said...

P.S. I was almost trapped by those Essenian guys with their sexual hangups. Like not doing it any more. The Magdala gal and I sorted out that this doesn't concern a son of Moses like me.
P.P.S. Tell the sheikina that I'm taken aback by her ability to appear in male form.
P.P.P.S. wordverif: slation

Ernest de Cugnac said...

sylvia - shagate, straight faced or straight laced. And Mary Jane, nice, that one did not occur to me (wish it had).

eva - you are soooo far out. But I liked it.