Entry 12: in which I annoy Lucy

Lucifer collared me for what he called a “one on one”. He's a strange cove. He’s always respectful and if he had a forelock I would not be surprised if he tugged it. He seems to defer to me on everything, and while he displays an endearing humility in my presence, I have the strangest feeling that he knows more than he lets on and an even stronger feeling that he laughs at me behind my back. I can safely say that he is not on the short list of entities that I want to go on holiday with.

I have taken to calling him Lucy. Just slipped out the first time, but there was a definite twitch of the tail. Childish I know, to persist, but it does seem to be a small chink in his otherwise impenetrable urbanity.

Anyway, back to the one-on-one. He “shared” with me his firm belief that give or take a couple of hundred million years "Planet of the Reptiles" is going to turn religious and that we need some “contingency” in place. I quote. Why for goodness sake? I mean, what difference can it make? The best thing is to stay well away and let them run themselves ragged. They'll soon forget about it.

I asked Lucy if he has even visited the place, but as usual he was evasive. Well I have, and the main preoccupation of everything that walks, swims, flies, crawls or slithers is finding something to shag and something to eat (not necessarily, though often, in that order). Oh, and to do both while not being eaten. What a place! I reckon it's home to more teeth and claws than the rest of the universe put together.

Anyway, I told him that I have more chance of growing old than of that bunch finding religion and contingency was not an issue. Of course he agreed immediately while at the same time looking like he was doing his best not to smile. An absolute jackass. Thus far I see no reason to revise my already poor opinion of him.