Well the arrival of Metatron has certainly resulted in a good deal of twitter and jitter. Much focus too, on Earth, from whence he apparently hails. Mrs G has yet to meet old Meta and she will wait a while longer if I have anything to do with it. However she agitates constantly saying we must have him round for drinks and nibbles, it's only polite. Ha.
Found the boy in a sulk. Bit of delicate probing revealed the following, viz, that I have chosen Meta as some kind of deputy and why him over me etc etc. Well I was able to disabuse him of that notion and he bustled off cheerfully enough, but leaving me fretting about who is putting this nonsense about and why.
Hate a scene, but decided to beard Meta and sort this out for once and for all (which in these parts actually means for all).
Tracked him down without much difficulty - follow the sounds of chattering cherabim and you won't go too far wrong. It's hard to describe them politely, so I'll not bother and simply say that they are sensatomaniacs.
So, face to face we are, and he immediately starts singing my praises - talk about stereotypical behaviour - full of protestations about how much he loves me and so on.
"That's quite enough of that" I say sternly; absolutely loathe and detest these extravagant displays. "I'll come to the point. There is careless talk doing the rounds about what you might or might not do in The Realm and I can't say I like what I hear". Actually I quite impressed myself, and annoyed that Mrs G should miss my display of fireworks.
"If you have a role here" I continue "you'll learn about it from me. In the meantime consider yourself logged in with Guest status only".
Well stone the crows. Instead of giving me verbal, which I have to admit I was fully expecting, he announces "You is the Daddy and I is your bitch".
What a shower! Torn between squirming with embarrassment and quite enjoying the looks of furtive respect from those cherubs who had not already scuttled off. Although I did not feel I was in a hole, I decided that it would be a good idea to stop digging all the same, and I exited with as much dignity as I could muster.
Might just OK the invite from Mrs G after all.
Showing posts with label Earth. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Earth. Show all posts
Monday, 23 June 2008
Friday, 20 June 2008
Entry 22: in which I meet Metratron and am rightly dismayed
Well, I scarcely know where to begin. Omnipresent I may be, but omniattentive I clearly am not. Take your eye off the ball for 65 million years and see what happens?
Turns out that the splendid collection of reptiles I have been admiring are gone, wiped out by a meteorite. And been replaced by a bunch of hairy-arsed monkeys. Quite extraordinary.
Oh it's not all doom and gloom. There were survivors and they are running around now in the guise of birds, and especially chickens. You only have to look at their scaly legs and the classic three-toed stance to see that. But talk about opportunism! Who would have believed that those insignificant beetle chrunching shrews would have ended up running the place?
I should explain that all this emerged thanks to a not entirely welcome visit from Lucifer and A.N. Other. By appearances an archangel, but not one that I've ever clapped eyes on.
"I'd like to introduce Metatron" says Lucy.
Well perhaps he would, but whether I want to receive him is quite another matter. I don't like the look of him one little bit. A stare like chilled water. And that's another thing. Most entities in The Realm don't stare at me. He does. Clearly not one of us.
Anyway, I buttonhole Lucy and hiss at him "Who is this wretch and where is he from?"
"Well", says Lucy, "he says he's from Earth and that he used to someone called Enoch".
"And Earth is ...?" I ask, sotto voce you understand, while fixing a beady on Mr Metatron who is kicking his heels in the middle distance.
And this is when he delivers his bombshell, about Reptile Planet, the meteorite and all that. Turns out that the monkeys have learnt to speak and call the planet "Earth" because that's what it's made of (they're a literal lot it seems).
Well that's as may be, but one thing I do know is that nothing from the Universe has simply strolled into The Realm before, because, as I've been explaining to the lad, this dimension simply doesn't exist there. Something stinks and it isn't me.
Turns out that the splendid collection of reptiles I have been admiring are gone, wiped out by a meteorite. And been replaced by a bunch of hairy-arsed monkeys. Quite extraordinary.
Oh it's not all doom and gloom. There were survivors and they are running around now in the guise of birds, and especially chickens. You only have to look at their scaly legs and the classic three-toed stance to see that. But talk about opportunism! Who would have believed that those insignificant beetle chrunching shrews would have ended up running the place?
I should explain that all this emerged thanks to a not entirely welcome visit from Lucifer and A.N. Other. By appearances an archangel, but not one that I've ever clapped eyes on.
"I'd like to introduce Metatron" says Lucy.
Well perhaps he would, but whether I want to receive him is quite another matter. I don't like the look of him one little bit. A stare like chilled water. And that's another thing. Most entities in The Realm don't stare at me. He does. Clearly not one of us.
Anyway, I buttonhole Lucy and hiss at him "Who is this wretch and where is he from?"
"Well", says Lucy, "he says he's from Earth and that he used to someone called Enoch".
"And Earth is ...?" I ask, sotto voce you understand, while fixing a beady on Mr Metatron who is kicking his heels in the middle distance.
And this is when he delivers his bombshell, about Reptile Planet, the meteorite and all that. Turns out that the monkeys have learnt to speak and call the planet "Earth" because that's what it's made of (they're a literal lot it seems).
Well that's as may be, but one thing I do know is that nothing from the Universe has simply strolled into The Realm before, because, as I've been explaining to the lad, this dimension simply doesn't exist there. Something stinks and it isn't me.
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