Saturday, 25 October 2008

Entry 53: in which I brief the Ghost (again)

I have decided to set aside, for the moment, my unhelpful reflections on the nature of life, the universe and everything. Clearly, since I already know everything, I also know the answer about Me and Mrs G. But equally clearly, the fact that I appear not to have privileged access to this part of my psyche, suggests that the conundrum is better left unexplored.

So how to fill one's time?

What better than to call in the Ghost's debt. What debt? Well he owes me for being a total plonker. That will do.

Anyway. I tell him to hightail it back to obscurity and keep a watching brief on the lad. Who by now is almost certainly reaping the benefits of his distinctly unearthly precocity. One feels, almost with regret, that the lad and woe have a gravitational attraction for each other.

And speaking of gravity, why is it that it is so weak in this iteration of the universe? Something amiss surely?

Anyway, must resist the temptation to attend to that now.

(Besides which it might be unkind to those life forms that have already evolved to rack gravity up a couple of million times to where it should be. I mean, walking along minding your business one minute and being a very flat puddle of strawberry jam the next.)

Ah me. If one only had thumbs to twiddle. Those wretched apes have it all!

16 comments:

Absolute Vanilla (and Atyllah) said...

Are you sure it's right for God to be this amount of cogitating. I thought he was supposed to create, not think... It's thinking, isn't it, that causes all the trouble.

Laugh out loud stuff, as always!

Ernest de Cugnac said...

av - quite so. His cogitation only makes Him unhappy ... and therefore probably the rest of us also.

Janelle said...

hah, and we have zanzibar too! just back...loads of catching up to do...didn;t do a stitch of work...meant to plan lessons all the way to december..which freak does that? haven;t even planned tommorrows...oh well. good to be back. ish...ish...very ish...xxx j

Millennium Housewife said...

Mr G, are you sure you don't increase gravity every saturday night? The strawberry jam puddle analogy feels strangly familiar. Hic. MH

Ernest de Cugnac said...

janelle - of course you didn't do any work. That would have been a crime against nature. Good luck with winging it tomorrow!!

mh - further hints of your appalling dissipation. I do like it.

Reya Mellicker said...

Gravity is a weak force, or so the physicists say, though those of us growing older every second might have a different opinion. It seems to drag me down more every every. Seems? It DOES drag me down.

What about the Ghost? I never understood anything about ... him? It? ... Holy Ghost? Help me, Mr. God. I don't get it.

Exmoorjane said...

How did I get here? No, not one for God, just trying to remember which blog led me here....have just read The God Diaries from start to finish (don't think I have ever done that with a blog, not even my own) and have laughed out loud on numerous occasions (another deeply rare occurence).
This for publication, no? As in you, God and publishing house? Imagine so. Hope so. Best thing I've read in, oh, aeons.
Not Enough Mud.....that was it.

Ernest de Cugnac said...

reya - well, I can only speculate, but my money is on it being the "holy ghost" ... though I suspect the influence of a snippet of half-heard conversation as in "no, it's true, he's wholy ghost".

exmoorjane - my goodness you are very welcome and along at the right time. I've been busy with other things and getting a bit down in the mouth over the diaries so your enthusiasm is a great shot in the arm. Thank you so much for you most generous praise.

Janelle said...

um excuze me? where are you? its been a while. were you being serious in your last post??? x janelle

Ernest de Cugnac said...

janelle - indeed it has been a while, and thank you for asking; you are v kind. I'm a bit knackered, but will be back on form soon I hope. 'Till then.

Janelle said...

ok. . . . .x

Millennium Housewife said...

Hi Earnest,
Can I ask for your help? I'm planning a book aimed at dads to be and need some quotes from dads about what having children means to them it would read something like this:
My children meant that life would never be the same again. Oliver, dad to Kate(4) and Noah (2)
You can change the actual names if you like? No pressure either way, but if you'd like to help I'd be extremely grateful! MH

Jeannie said...

Also missing your posts, and Mr God's musings, Ernest. Ah, hell, is that apostrophe right or wrong??

Hope you are back on form soon, and that there is not much wrong. Word verification is gnacci, which sounds like a good European (Romance Languages, not Teutonic) word for being a little tired out...

Ernest de Cugnac said...

MH - did you really mean something as short as that? Mail me if you like, ernestdecugnac@live.co.uk

jeannie - thanks for the 'hello', no nothing much wrong, actually very busy with building work, some of which I am doing ... all just got a bit on top of me, but back to normal (or should that be "normal"?) soon.

Exmoorjane said...

Hmmm. Fingers drumming on desk here too...... More God please.

Ernest de Cugnac said...

On the way, defo!!!