Monday, 19 January 2009

Postcard from Earth (6: Moving on)

Dear Pater,

I am now fully grown it seems. I've done more than 30 of these annual circles around the sun which is how they reckon age in these parts. You have no idea how time drags for a biological entity. But of course you do, ha ha.

Anyway, I have decided I'm done with carpentry. Yes, "horny handed son of toil" and all that has a certain ring to it I suppose, but, honestly, one plank is very much like another.

I said to my earthly papa, Joseph, that I was thinking of moving on, do a bit of a roadie, find some like-minded chums to hang out with etc. In effect that it was time for him to look for a new skivvy. And he says? "Whatever"! Whatever? I mean, OK, we haven't always agreed exact criteria for the difference between a dovetail and a mortise and tenon, but still.

My earthly mum Mary was a bit more choked. She mumbled on about me being quite grown up now and it was about time, one less body to tidy up after, one less mouth to feed, at last some room to swing the cat in blah blah, but I think I can tell when someone is putting on a brave face.

So, that's me sorted. Well, not quite. Having decided what not to do, I've got to make a start on figuring what to do. I hear they need some help on the forex desk down the local temple. Might start there.

Anyway, that's all for now,
Love to Mama.

PS - I take it you'll be good for a reference in the unlikely event I need one? Latin or Aramaic, in case you need to brush up.

11 comments:

Joss Albért said...

'I hear they need some help on the forex desk down the local temple.'

:) My advice Mr Jesus is to keep away from those Zimbabwe dollars.

Exmoorjane said...

Heck, he's an irritating little pastard, isn't he? I like the 'letters from' format but am craving a bit of Godspeak and of course I Love Lucy...

Ernest de Cugnac said...

joss - as long as the lad sells them he'll do OK I think. Just hope he remembers which way round to do it.

exmoorjane - there is a plan. Once the boy is "done" on earth, normal service will be resumed.

Millennium Housewife said...

Watch out going abroad, it's not as cheap as it was, tequila shots have doubled. Hope you have fun, well as much fun as sitting around in the desert for forty days and forty nights can be, which is something I have a hunch you're going to decided to do. MH

Pauline said...

My favorite part of all these postcards is "love to Mama"

why do I have a premonition that things are not going to well from here on in?

Ernest de Cugnac said...

mh - there's a lot to be said for mooching about in a desert. I think.

Pauline, thank you, I think that line is rather special too.

Janelle said...

if only he knew what mr god knew. or maybe mr god didn't know what we're capable of. read this: (from fellow blogger) http://cricketpage.blogspot.com/2009/01/gently-down-stream.html
if he had known, we most certainly would've been made into remote control beings...XXX j

Ernest de Cugnac said...

I know janelle. One of the worst stories of the year, and the horror of it all is, things like that are happening around the planet as I write. What can we do? Try and be sane, try and be kind, and try not to be too culturally sensitive where these fuckers are concerned.

Absolute Vanilla (and Atyllah) said...

LMAO! Oh Ernest, this just stays so good! The letters make an nice new take on things.

Janelle said...

hellooooooooooooooooooooo!? where art thou???? very silent on all spheres....x

Absolute Vanilla (and Atyllah) said...

Echoing Janelle... hellloooooo - are you out there? Hope all is okay?