Friday, 20 June 2008

Entry 22: in which I meet Metratron and am rightly dismayed

Well, I scarcely know where to begin. Omnipresent I may be, but omniattentive I clearly am not. Take your eye off the ball for 65 million years and see what happens?

Turns out that the splendid collection of reptiles I have been admiring are gone, wiped out by a meteorite. And been replaced by a bunch of hairy-arsed monkeys. Quite extraordinary.

Oh it's not all doom and gloom. There were survivors and they are running around now in the guise of birds, and especially chickens. You only have to look at their scaly legs and the classic three-toed stance to see that. But talk about opportunism! Who would have believed that those insignificant beetle chrunching shrews would have ended up running the place?

I should explain that all this emerged thanks to a not entirely welcome visit from Lucifer and A.N. Other. By appearances an archangel, but not one that I've ever clapped eyes on.

"I'd like to introduce Metatron" says Lucy.

Well perhaps he would, but whether I want to receive him is quite another matter. I don't like the look of him one little bit. A stare like chilled water. And that's another thing. Most entities in The Realm don't stare at me. He does. Clearly not one of us.

Anyway, I buttonhole Lucy and hiss at him "Who is this wretch and where is he from?"

"Well", says Lucy, "he says he's from Earth and that he used to someone called Enoch".

"And Earth is ...?" I ask, sotto voce you understand, while fixing a beady on Mr Metatron who is kicking his heels in the middle distance.

And this is when he delivers his bombshell, about Reptile Planet, the meteorite and all that. Turns out that the monkeys have learnt to speak and call the planet "Earth" because that's what it's made of (they're a literal lot it seems).

Well that's as may be, but one thing I do know is that nothing from the Universe has simply strolled into The Realm before, because, as I've been explaining to the lad, this dimension simply doesn't exist there. Something stinks and it isn't me.


Jolly Good Yarn Girl said...

When's the book coming out (did anyone ever say that about The Bible?)?

Ernest de Cugnac said...

Very good question JollyGood. About the Bible that is. I believe that there were large chunks of text that could have been included in the Bible, but were not. I wonder who felt qualified to make that decision?

Is there a book in the God Diaries? I'd like to think so, if only because I'd like to write; but I worry about talent, or rather its lack. The GDs sort of write themselves because I often think about the actual every day problems faced by a deity, and feel there must be many.

GayƩ Terzioglu said...

SUCH A GOOD IDEA! Pardon me for yelling, the book the book the book. I mean we wouldn't like to put pressure on you or anything but once the diaries are complete, it would only need to be edited to become a book.
I have read the Shadow Saga of Christopher Golden. It puts a fine twist on vampires, politics and religion (Vatican included) and it's not simply a light vampire series.
I think this would be really really really... "cool"... pardon my vocab, or lack of it, but "cool" does fit right in. :)

Ernest de Cugnac said...

G - hi there; I've never heard of Shadow Saga, must keep a look out for it. Thank you so much for your encouragement.