Monday, 1 September 2008

Entry 42: in which the lad emerges, blinking

Reports have it that the lad has finally been expelled from the womb of his surrogate mother. Astonishingly just the one head, despite the Ghost's recent propensity to balls up everything that he touches.

Honchos got there with the loot it appears, dumped it and fled, hoping that by same they have placated whatever it was that caused the recent flare.

Anyway, absolutely no prospect of getting the genie back into the bottle. The world and his brother now know about the event . Well, I say that, but that's just me exaggerating. So a few dozen nomadic herdsmen, the odd inn keeper, three somewhat senile and by now considerably poorer sages and a couple of ragg-bag extras know about it.

I mean, how bad can it get? By tomorrow the Bethlehem Times will be wrapping pita breads and it will all be very old news.

Much closer to home is Mrs God and her manifest displeasure at the way things have turned out. I think that she rather hoped that, pre-birth, it might be possible to pull one out of the hat and get the lad back to the Realm, the better to give him some rather unpleasant verbal and ground him for a couple of billion years.

As it is, she's going to have to wait patiently for the duration of the life span of the biological thingy in which he is embedded.

Or wait, anyway. Patience is optional.

15 comments:

Janelle said...

ernest. you are one very very funny clever man. x janelle

Ernest de Cugnac said...

and you, janelle, are *so* good for my ego, you kind and generous thing you.

Pam said...

She's right, you know. (Janelle, that is.)

As for Mrs God, I hope she's as good at optional patience as she is at Do Soak You, and that she's not the kind of person to go round using metaphors that contain bicycles and fish.

Miranda said...

Just to let you know I read this avidly but can never think of anything profound to say in the comments (for it needs profound, I fear). So I just keep quiet instead - you know the whole "better to keep quiet and have people think you're clever than open your mouth and remove all doubt" or however it goes...
But I read and I chuckle and I scratch my head...

Ernest de Cugnac said...

pam - thank you too. I suspect that bicycles and fish feature prominently in at least some of Mrs G's conversations.

miranda - I don't know, too profound could credit the diaries with far more gravitas than they deserve. Chuckling is good!

Ernest de Cugnac said...

PS - miranda, I see your prefered image is as an angel. Hmmm, coincidence, or something much more spooky? Such as, are you keeping tabs?

Absolute Vanilla (and Atyllah) said...

Brilliant - again - as always.
I'm just wondering though, what happened to the onlooking donkey, sheep and cow? Had they been eaten?

Ernest de Cugnac said...

av - you're right, a bit of a vacuum on the animal audience front. Not sure what G was thinking of. But not eaten I hope!

Reya Mellicker said...

The cat is out of the bag, at last!

All of humankind has been waiting on this boy. Mazel tov!

Ernest de Cugnac said...

reya - "They just didn't know it"

Millennium Housewife said...

Earnest, I am just loving your blog, it makes my brain itch - and it hasn't itched for a good few years. Thankyou! MH

Ernest de Cugnac said...

Well thank you, MH; you were an early adopter and have posted me some interesting and difficult problems along the way.

human soul no: 220664 said...

Dear God,

At last we hear from you first hand, all that praying I've been doing and not a word.. Thank God (you) for the net, beats stone tablets any day huh.
Hey thanks for that bike I asked you for when I was 8, and for the Renault when I was 18!
Thanks for finding me a cute husband; I was only joking when I asked for children by the way, can you do something about that? (Still only joking!)

Sorry about all the lies I've told, I'll try to be good.
I think Lucy got a hold on my soul recently, but it's kind of fun.

I'm so glad there's a Mrs God to keep you company up there.

Love and peace,
Human Soul no: 220664.

human soul no: 220664 said...

Dear God,

At last we hear from you first hand, all that praying I've been doing and not a word.. Thank God (you) for the net, beats stone tablets any day huh.
Hey thanks for that bike I asked you for when I was 8, and for the Renault when I was 18!
Thanks for finding me a cute husband; I was only joking when I asked for children by the way, can you do something about that? (Still only joking!)

Sorry about all the lies I've told, I'll try to be good.
I think Lucy got a hold on my soul recently, but it's kind of fun.

I'm so glad there's a Mrs God to keep you company up there.

Love and peace,
Human Soul no: 220664.

Ernest de Cugnac said...

Why hello human soul number 220664; thank you for sharing all those interesting prayers and, er, outcomes. I'm glad they pleased you, by and large, including the children. I was once told that children are God's punishment for having sex. Kind of believe it, but it never stopped me.

Lucy's not all bad; I'm sure of it. And Mrs God? Can't imagine the Realm without her.

Hope you will hover by again soon.