Sunday, 28 September 2008

Entry 47: in which One is stumped

The Stakeholders' Meeting. The usual shiny and eager faces, up for it. Mrs God's not among them, naturally. I tender her apologies, and the lad's.

I explain that this meeting is different and special and its purpose is to determine our Vision and Mission. They are suitably impressed, or at least that is what I take the somewhat stunned silence for.

Finally one cherub, bolder than the rest, ventures this: "OHO, pray what is the difference between a Vision and a Mission?"

I must digress at this point to explain OHO. In these parts folk generally don't call me anything unless they are feeling particularly extravagant. However, in formal meetings it is common for them to prefix remarks and questions with something like OGO, OHO, or OMO. Originally these were shortened forms of Oh Great One, Oh Holy One, Oh Mighty One and so on. Now they have become words in their own right, so I find myself addressed as OHO (as in a short laugh) for example. I'm never quite sure if the speaker is taking the piss, but it seems wiser to assume not.

Anyway, back to "OHO, pray what is the difference between a Vision and a Mission?"

I own up to a moment of awkwardness here, and realise how unprepared I am, since I haven't the foggiest.

Not a problem, I shall simply divine the answer as I usually do.

However, when I attempt to do so, astonished to find ... nothing. Now I need to explain that if one attempts to divine an answer and the divination returns "null" it means only one thing - there is no answer to that question, anywhere in the universe.

Which explains a something that has always puzzled me, namely the preponderance of consulting firms throughout the sentient universe. Most of which are called McKinsey. Another mystery.

Back to the meeting. I fix a beady eye on the cherub (whose name escapes me; well they all look the same, honestly) and announce "Our young friend here has asked an important question. I think it will be instructive for you to mull it over for a while. We will adjourn while you do so. When we resume, I look forward to some creative suggestions ..."

And head for the exit before another of the little sods bushwhacks me.


Janelle said...


Pam said...

I may have overheard a couple of your cherubim discussing this very point. One came up with the theory that a vision is conceptual whereas a mission is practical, and that explains why visionaries are less annoying than missionaries. The other one said "Codswallop".

Ernest de Cugnac said...

janelle - ah yes, I forgot OMG!

pam - I think the wise cherub may just be onto something. Now it only remains to figure out which of the two the wise one was.

Pam said...