Monday, 28 July 2008

Entry 33: in which Mrs God is totally unreasonable

Well the Ghost and the lad have disappeared, last known sighting headed in the direction of a piddling planet called Earth. At least the Ghost has enough sense to get this crazy adventure off to a good start, but once the lad goes solo who knows what will happen? Actually I do - only metaphorically you understand; I don't fancy a peak into the future on this occasion any more than I usually do.

Found Mrs G immersed in Do Soak You, brow somewhat furrowed as she wrestled with rows and columns, doing something cerebral, but not sure what exactly. If you follow this journal on a regular basis you will know that Do Soak You and I are strangers to one other.

Chose my moment to tell her that the lad has gone AWOL only to reap a torrent of most unreasonable abuse. Was I crazy? Didn't I know what was likely to happen? Who would tuck him in at night? If I had given it a moment's thought I would have known she would not approve etc etc.

Well, for Pete's sake, I'm not a sodding telepath ... well actually I am but that's not the point. Probing the recesses of Mrs G's mind is not a task to be undertaken lightly, or for those delicately constituted (as I am).

In vain did I point out he's old enough to know what he's doing, that the Ghost is riding shotgun etc. No, I am officially a complete arse! Somewhat stung by this, but since Mrs G is clearly temporarily unhinged have decided not to take offense. Be magnanimous, that sort of thing.

Get him back? How exactly? He's probably already a blastocyst. Anyway, will have to wait for the Ghost to report back before any kind of corrective action can be contemplated.

Ah, who knows. Maybe they strayed? Got distracted? Lost their way?

I should be so lucky.


Absolute Vanilla (& Atyllah) said...

Funny, you know, I've never got the hang of this Do Soak You thing either, God. Really can't understand what all the fuss is about. Much rather have a nice hot scone with jam.

As for the boy, if he arrives as a bacteria, he'll be well sorted. Better yet if he turns into a virus. I hear nothing on earth eats viruses. Mind you, I don't suppose Mrs G would like the idea either way. Mothers can be so overprotective!

Ernest de Cugnac said...

Now, av, strange you should say that, I did seriously consider that arriving as a bacterium would be the simplest thing, but perhaps the boy prefers the breadth of experience that goes with being a naked ape.

Absolute Vanilla (& Atyllah) said...

Hmm, I'm not convinced that the naked ape has half as much breadth of experience as a bacterium! The naked ape is inclined, I'm sure, to entirely overrate his own personal experience - as any bacterium would tell you!